Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Now D and I are off to the Land of Chicago. Yay!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
It wasn't good--but not nearly as bad as I was expecting. The writing was just a bit more clever than your average sitcom to make it stand out, but not so much that it will be picked up for another season. There were even some pretty nice Hamlet references.
It was "developed" by Matt Tarses, who also worked on Scrubs, and there are some definite Scrubs similarities throughout (e.g., white male lead with a bald black sidekick).
I'll prolly watch the rest of the shows, but I'm sure they'll cancel it unless it gets a plot/writing kick, but who knows.
Technorati Tags: Teachers, Scrubs
Monday, March 27, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
“You coach a gymnastics team in high school, and you’re married, and your son is not interested in gymnastics and you’re pushing him into gymnastics.”
“Oh, yeah, you better think again, Mojambo.”
“Listen, I got news for you. It’s nice to be involved with someone who’s interested in something other than Nick at Nite.”
“She kept saying, ‘Why, George, why?” I said, ‘Because it’s there.”
“It could be anybody—people down through history, reacting in traffic. Franklin Roosevelt: ‘Driver!’”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
“Did you say goiter? What goiter?”
“Phew. It’s like a sauna in here.”
“That’s like putting your whole mouth in the dip.”
“You know that Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts.”
“I got news for you: handicapped people, they don’t even want to park there. They want to be treated like everyone else. That’s why those spaces are always empty.”
“You know, I really think I’m falling for you, Jerry Seinfeld.”
“Oh, well, I really think I’m falling for you, Joseph Puglia.”
“Why do you have to pick your teeth at the table?” “Oh, leave me alone!”
“Yeah, I’m gonna get married real soon.”
“Again with the sweatpants?”
“What? I’m comfortable.”
Saturday, March 25, 2006
PS--see if you can spot The Captain on Peety's plugboard.
Friday, March 24, 2006
The Western parallels are certainly not coincidental--Yojimbo was directly adapted into A Fistful of Dollars by Sergio Leone (the first "spaghetti Western")--and many of Kurasawa's other films have been adapted as well. The scene is a dusty, windy town in the middle of nowhere, all the citizens are afraid, the audience can't really trust anyone, and the music alternates between serious and whimsical.
In a broader Kurasawa sense, I liked Seven Samurai and Rashomon better, and Hidden about the same, but for my money, there isn't much better than these films. Yojimbo is a classic film that has sparked a lot of the films of today. Watch it if you like good stuff.
Technorati Tags: Yojimbo, Movies
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I'm averaging about 4 episodes of Seinfeld a day. It's like breathing.
For those interested (including Bone), here's my fantasy roster, before any adds, drops, or trades:
Thankfully, the controversy around Soriano seems to be dying down.
It's my mom's birthday today!
I just saw "The Pick" episode of Seinfeld. Awesome.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
JPEG .at. 11 is a site run by a 20 year old South African named Ibis. She's into photography and has a bunny fetish. Need I say more?
Rhandoko.com/ is a site about various and sundry things. The most recent post includes information regarding a new indoor ski resort in Dubai. Coolio.
Quarter Rest is an awesome blog by Jenn, who's pregnant. If you're looking for clever writing, look no further.
Monday, March 20, 2006
I've been checking out this site for a few weeks now, but I think it's time to get all of you in the mix as well. For the TRUE Tony fans, such as myself: http://www.almeidaisgod.com/.
Cool ending, though, what with Audrey Raines being the source and all. Not shocking, per se, but certainly intriguing. I'm honestly not sure which way it'll go--they haven't hinted at a bad side to Audrey at all to the best of my memory. If I had to bet, I'd say she did it. She's been around for a while now, and besides, I don't like her.
I'm getting sick of Curtis. Why does everyone like him? He's such a non-character. He has no personality. He's a tool.
I still can't believe how many longterm and midterm characters they're killing off in this season. Man.
I think that German dude is going to do psycho and try to screw over Jack. Then he and Jack will come under fire in some way and he will be forced to help Jack. Sorry, predictions come later...
Good parts: Jack asking the German guy, "Are we okay?" after the speakerphone conversation--it was soooo gay! The hot European chick. The intrigue with Wayne Palmer--I'm buying it so far. The Audrey Raines twist at the end. The Jameson.
Bad parts: Tony dying. President Logan still obviously being an idiot. Curtis living. Stupid Homeland Security people--what dumbasses!
Predictions: See above, and: the VP interrogates Wayne Palmer (he is DEFINITELY behind the shooting of his car!), the German guy comes back mad, Audrey goes to the dark side.
Technorati Tag: 24
Sunday, March 19, 2006
"I'm going straight to hell. There's no way around it."
"Well, it might not be hell, but you're gonna run into some really bad dudes."
“These pretzels are making me thirsty!” (I know, I know--a little too popular, but I couldn't resist)
"Who put cookies in his mouth? You’re not supposed to do that."
"That’s Hennegan’s. No smell, no tell. Scotch."
"The male kangaroo doesn’t have a pouch; only the female has it. So the male has pouch envy. 'Why should she have this huge pouch, and I have nothing? I have things to carry, too. At least give me a pocket.'"
"You can’t break up with me! I’ve got hand!"
"And you’re gonna need it." (again, a little too cliche, but whatever)
"Hello? What Delay Industries? No, you’re way, way off—this is an apartment."
"And you want to be my latex salesman." (Had to use it.)
"What kind of hair…Is it flowing? I like flowing. Cascading hair. Thick, lustrous hair is very important to me…let me ask you this: if you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to get it out?"
"I’m like ice, buddy. When I don’t like you, you got problems."
"Up here, I’m already gone."
Technorati Tag: Seinfeld
While you're here, visit my tenant and tell debbiecakes Vandelay Industries says hello.
I was tagged by Tricia. Woo-hoo!
List seven songs you’re into right now. No matter the genre, whether [or not] they have words, or even if they’re any good, they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs, then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.
Beethoven - "Emperor" Piano Concerto
Beethoven - Pathetique, Movement 2
Erasure - A Little Respect
Barenaked Ladies - Break Your Heart
Peter Warlock - Capriol Suite (technically, these are 6 songs)
Coldplay - Fix You
Collective Soul - Run
So there you have it: 7 songs that I keep listening to. Do with this info what you will. I'm going to obsess over my draft some more.
Seven people tagged:
Technorati Tag: Fantasy Baseball
Friday, March 17, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
"Trust me, George, no one wants to see you on caffeine."
The name Art Vandelay is first invented by George in the second episode, "The Stakeout."
Kramer's first trademark entrance occurs in episode three, "The Robbery."
"I'm really running out of excuses with this guy. I need some sort of excuse Rolodex."
"I cannot envision any circumstance in which I’ll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How’s it gonna happen? I just don’t see how it could occur."
"Hi George, I'm Raymond."
Technorati Tag: Seinfeld
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tara: The theme for tomorrow is Junglewear. Good luck.
I'm still grieving.
The shampoo was a huge success. The ladies can't get enough of me.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Other brief observations:
Best Jack line in a while: "You alright?" "No."
Chloe: "I'm pretty good at getting information."
Lynn McGill went all George Mason on us. MUCH less shocked about this than Tony--this was foreseeable.
Kim is now a heartless bitch and until further notice I want her completely gone from the show.
This episode was really a stand-alone episode; very little happens outside of CTU (including the President's idiotic cowering).
Good parts: Jack's cool line (see above). There was nothing else good about this episode. Tony's death erases all goodness off the face of the earth. Even the Jameson tasted bitter. I hate my life.
Bad parts: Tony's death. Tony's death. Tony's death. Tony's death. Tony's death. Kim still living. Tony's death.
Predictions: Southie wallows in sorrow and depression and never watches 24 again. I'll miss you, Tony.
Technorati Tag: 24
1. American Idol
3. Hockey fans
5. The entire state of Kentucky
6. Trans fat
7. Love stories
8. Hardwood floors and granite countertops
9. Ipods (*gasp!*)
10. Any TV show with "Makeover" in the title
11. Oprah and all Oprah-related pursuits
12. Yachting/Golf/Polo/Any sport that only allows white people to play
14. Fear regarding terrorism
15. Fear regarding one's goal(s) in life
16. The GOP
17. NASCAR/Horseracing/Speedskating/Track/Cross-country/Any sort of racing
18. March Madness
20. Blind religious faith
If I haven't yet managed to offend you, come back tomorrow and I'll see what I can do.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Here it is:
If you enjoy visiting Southie's famous blog, please feel free to put the button on your own page. Also, The Captain (Southie's mascot) has his own button, which can be found here.
Tara: do this or I will never speak to you again.
How to install the Vandelay Industries button on your site:
1. Right-click on the button and "Save Picture As..." onto your desktop.
2. Sign up for a free account with an image hosting service such as Photobucket.
3. Upload the saved button into your online album.
4. After the upload is complete, you will see three fields below the image.
5. Copy the text from the "Tag" field, and paste it into your website template.
6. Replace "http://www.photobucket.com" with "http://latexsalesman.blogspot.com". Enjoy!
Other Arrested News:
It has been announced that Season 3 of Arrested is being released on DVD on June 13! Hoorah! Details here.
Tony Hale (Buster) is now a father for the first time. Congrats, Byron!
There is a fantastic post I've stumbled across on Arrested--it details the "25 Best Arrested Development Moments". Quite funny. Check it out here.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Haunted House Dressing is a zany potpourri of clever writing, pictures, and general witticisms. Loyal Vandelay Industries followers, check it out! Click on the thumbnail to the right.
Emily's Nutang: This site is the shit--run by a college student from Alabama. That's run, Bone, I said Alabama. She has a cat named Dr. Doom. And it doesn't hurt that she's totally hot.
Odd Planet: This site is odd. It has an appropriate name. Also, it's similar to Vandelay Industries in that there are random, pseudo-interesting things brought to your attention.
Mark Rogers, Super Guy: This is a Super Site from a Super Guy. And, more importantly, this was the site that first informed me that Arrested Development is being picked up by Showtime. What more can you ask for?
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
1. My first car was a Mazda 626 named Tim.
2. I have read The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit at least six times.
3. I am right-handed.
4. My favorite author is James Joyce.
5. My least favorite chore is taking out the trash.
6. I have lived for a total of at least three weeks on four continents.
7. My favorite color is blue.
8. My favorite college team is Notre Dame, infinitesimally closely followed by Ohio State.
9. I have very little respect for golfers.
10. I am one-half Italian.
11. My favorite martini is an appletini.
12. I can quote from almost any Seinfeld episode.
13. I used to listen to country on a daily basis.
14. I hate country.
15. I have been on a horse exactly one time.
16. If I had to claim a favorite movie, it would be The Royal Tenenbaums.
17. I eat too much sometimes.
18. My best friend is an orchestra director.
19. I have never truly been content, at least for a significant amount of time.
20. My favorite sport is either football or baseball, depending on the season.
21. My favorite city is Rome.
22. I live five hours away from where I grew up.
23. I am a writer.
24. My favorite composer is Beethoven.
25. I like to stay up until 2 or 3am, but during the school year, I typically go to sleep around 9pm.
26. I have no problem whatsoever with homosexuality.
27. I have two cats, named Holden and Atticus.
28. I once fell 35 feet in a freak band camp incident.
29. I have very little hair, comparatively.
30. I am simultaneously scared of and in awe of big cities.
31. I once lived for 48 hours as a homeless person.
32. My favorite poem is "Ulysses" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
33. I wear contacts.
34. I am constantly afraid of losing the present--or forgetting past--so I catalogue everything and never throw anything away.
35. I miss college.
36. I believe in transcendentalism.
37. I have no strong feelings about my own death.
38. I hate very few things more than reality television.
39. There isn't much more beautiful than a baby.
40. I am an Eagle Scout.
41. I relate very much to JD from Scrubs in that I constantly am metathinking about my life.
42. I always drink whisky--preferably Jameson--while I watch 24.
43. I have truly been in love once.
44. I believe that pages 116-117 of The Great Gatsby are the most important in the entire novel (in the Scribner 2004 edition).
45. I relate to Holden Caulfield more than any other character in any book or film.
46. I miss not having any responsibility, but that's only because I take it so seriously.
47. If I could live two lives at once, I'd try to be a director in Hollywood.
48. I don't exercise enough.
49. Few people see the real me, even though I'm a fairly open person.
50. I enjoy gardening, but I don't currently have a garden.
51. I have a genetic predisposition to addiction.
52. I have been to two Jimmy Buffett concerts.
53. My last three pairs of shoes have been Sperry Topsiders.
54. I was obsessed with The Beatles in middle school.
55. I'm subconsciously afraid of not being good enough.
56. I deeply respect with work of Joseph Campbell.
57. The thought of donuts, nacho cheese, and hot dogs makes me sick.
58. If I could have any superpower, it would be the ability to fly.
59. Gelato is the best thing I have ever eaten, no question.
60. My first favorite book was Beverly Cleary's The Mouse and the Motorcycle. I still read it sometimes.
61. I was born legally blind in my right eye, but it's all good now.
62. I enjoy a good cup of coffee.
63. I have brown eyes.
64. Sometimes I have trouble getting to sleep.
65. I never learned how to blow a bubble with bubble gum.
66. I check the news from three websites multiple times per day.
67. I am one of the founding members of the Pie Championship Series.
68. The sound of the dryer running calms me.
69. I am fascinated by shiny and/or glass things.
70. Sometimes I just want to play with Legos.
71. I have never been to Seattle.
72. I hate grading papers. And I'm a teacher.
73. I never saw the third Matrix movie, and I'm not too worried about it.
74. I firmly believe that more people should visit this site.
75. I occasionally wonder how people can be extreme conservatives and still have a conscience. Honestly.
76. I am one of the few people who can claim that they have a personal mascot.
77. I grew up a Cincinnati Reds fan, but I'm currently considering being a full-fledged Cubs fan.
78. I'm a relativist.
79. I enjoy cooking.
80. Fantasy baseball gets me so excited sometimes I can't stand it.
81. I hate the number 3 with a passion.
82. I was in an a capella group in college.
83. I love rain.
84. I like to swim.
85. If I had a totem animal, it would be the kangaroo.
86. Woody Allen makes me laugh very hard. Sometimes I can't stop.
87. I'm unnaturally bad at making small talk with people I don't know.
88. I can memorize names and numbers very well.
89. I like to wear sport coats.
90. Clowns scare me a little.
91. The worst movie I have ever seen is Dead Man on Campus.
92. I can drive a stick-shift.
93. I plan a lot.
94. Flying in a plane doesn't bother me at all.
95. I don't like to be around a lot of people for a long time.
96. I love naps in the afternoon.
97. Capri is the most beautiful place I have ever been.
98. I know how to play handball--but don't.
99. Being around dogs makes me uncomfortable.
100. I have tried--and enjoyed--peanut butter and tomato sandwiches.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Noooooooo! Poor Edgar. Remember when his mom died? He handled that very well. I'll always remember him for his tubbiness and his awkward social skills. He and Chloe should have had awkward sex before he died. Poor Edgar.
Kim's back. I thought she would die in the nerve gas. If not her, then I thought Tony. Thank god Tony didn't die. I don't know if I could handle that. Kim's not as hot now, so I think it'll be okay when she dies. I'm almost positive she'll die this season. At least, I hope she does (very complex here: she's very hot, so I don't want her to go, but she can't act and has been much hotter before, so I want to remember her like that. Very complex).
I still miss Michelle. Do you think they'll bring her back?
At this point, President Logan is just stupid. Unless he does something to completely redeem himself, I'm not really buying any of his crap. (Let's invite the VP in have him suggest stupid stuff without being fully informed of the situation!)
Aaron Pierce and Mrs. Logan should get it on.
Jack should kill Kim's boyfriend. He's a tool.
Good parts: Jack shooting Henderson's wife in the leg (awesome!), Lynn's crack-whore sister being shot in the head, Chloe showing sadness, the Jameson.
Bad parts: Edgar dying, Kim coming back (overall), gratuitous shot of flags in the background while the camera follows Jack, occasional time speed-up, no Michelle.
Predictions: Jack beats it out of Henderson that the VP is in on all of the terrorist activity, Tony helps out in a heroic way, Kim dies somehow, Jack beats the shit out of her boyfriend, Lynn turns out to be a woman. Mark it.
Technorati Tag: 24
Sunday, March 05, 2006
I really liked the opening film characters monatge, at the very beginning.
The host montage was HILARIOUS--especially Billy Crystal and Chris Rock in the Brokeback Mountain tent.
Also, the gay western montage was great.
"Ben Stiller and His Amazing Green Unitard"
I found it ridiculously funny when they cut to Jack Nicholson during the Dolly Parton song.
Zach Braff was on the Oscars! Chicken Little Zach Braff! Yay!
In general, Jon Stewart was too clever for his audience, but he got into a rhythm later.
Apparently, Rachel Weisz is AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL. Why haven't I heard of this before?
The M. Night Shamalan commercial ROCKED. It was crazy.
I can't believe It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp won. Stupid.
I did like the lobbying parodies. They were funny.
Shocked that Crash won--I'll have to see it. And that Rachel Weisz is AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL. Glad that Ang Lee won.
I'm going to bed--to dream about Rachel Weisz.
Technorati Tag: Oscars
So I took this picture a few moments ago, and it's emblematic of why I hate golfers: they're idiots. And don't get me wrong--they're not the lovable, you-messed-up-this-time-but-we'll-give-you-another-chance type of idiot--they're the I'm-going-to-do-what-I-want-when-I-want-and-fuck-anybody-who-gets-in-my-way idiots.
You may notice, if you look carefully at the photo, that there's a substantial amount of snow on the ground. You may also be aware that the typical golf ball is white. The color of snow.
It's just the fact that these rich WASPs play on these well-manicured, sprawling courses, usually tended to by minorities or young, future rich WASPs that gets me. It seems socially unfair that a bunch of old white men will shell out so much money to hit a ball around this idyllic landscape while people are literally starving to death.
Okay, this post got too serious. How bout this: HAHA, LOOK AT THE FUCKERS PLAYING GOLF IN THE SNOW!!! IDIOTS!!!
Technorati Tags: Golf, Idiots
Saturday, March 04, 2006
The main thing that stuck out to me is the simple beauty of the film. Director Walter Salles was very effectively able to show the natural elegance of the continent, while still making a poignant statement as to the very poor living conditions of many of the inhabitants. In an era when more money equals more spectacle, this movie puts them all to shame.
Another interesting--almost phantom in the film--is Ernesto Guevara de la Serna's gradual awakening to the injustices around him (as he eventually will become "Che" Guevara). It's a very organic, authentic transformation. I bought it.
Technorati Tags: The Motorcycle Diaries, Movies
Friday, March 03, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
2) After having at least one child with your cook husband, get a divorce. Get implants.
3) Forget the chicken job and the modeling and become a topless dancer. In Texas.
4) Get noticed by horny men. Sleep with enough of these horny men to eventually get into a nudie mag. And softcore porn.
5) Now here's the tough part: find a senile, near-death, billionaire horny man, and trick him into thinking you have a personality and a capacity for love. Marry him.
6) Kill him.
7) Viciously and cold-heartedly fight over your late husband's estate with your conniving, pretentious-name-bearing former stepson for seven years, culminating in making headlines as the sluttiest person ever to go before the Supreme Court. Win.
Done and done.