Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Her name is Jean Smart, and she played Mark's mom Carol in Garden State! What a wacky role reversal! "Mark, don't talk to him like that--he's a knight."
I'm glad Brokeback Mountain has taken so many nominations--it's good.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Does anyone else think that FOX puts Skating with Celebrities on right before 24 just to highlight how good the latter is? That's my belief.
Till next time, sports fans.
1) I haven't ever had more than 39 unique visitors in any single day
2) My high over the last seven days was 30
3) I wrote about sushi and terrorism
4) I don't think I interact with 51 unique people in the course of an entire month (not counting the kiddies, of course)
5) There weren't too many people reloading my page, which causes the number to go up (I think the highest number of return visits yesterday was around 7 or so)
6) I only have eight other sites linking to mine
7) I skipped a couple days this week
8) I'm an idiot
9) I haven't been blogging for that long
10) The Captain's Blog hasn't been updated in way too long
By far, I think #8 is the most convincing reason why I shouldn't have had 51 visitors yesterday.
In other news, I bought a new vacuum. It's AWESOME. It's the Bissell CleanView(R) Bagless Revolution(R) Deluxe Upright Vacuum, Model 3596, and it even has a dirt sensor to let you know if your carpet's dirty. The color it comes in is Metallic Spice, and boy is it spicy! Also, it has a Revolution System (R), which "extends suction power for better cleaning performance". What more could you ask for? Nothing, that's what. I almost can't wait to get my apartment dirty, just so I can use it! See picture.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Hamas has legally taken over Palestine. Interesting.
Is everyone going to watch Bush's State of the Union address on Tuesday? Drink every time he says "terrorist" or mispronounces a word. Then time how long you last.
A friend of mine, "ndheathen", has joined the public blogosphere--go congratulate him and encourage him to keep up his blogging. His blog is aptly named ...and this is why God created condoms.
Friday, January 27, 2006
- The horns of Southie are made entirely from hair. So that's where it all went!
- Owls cannot move their eyes, because their eyeballs are shaped like Southie. So...they're shaped to look FINE.
- You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Southie to reach the earth's core. Easy, ladies, there's enough Southie to go around.
- If you break Southie, you will get seven years of bad luck. And a black eye and some cracked ribs. Be warned.
- There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of Southie orbiting the Earth. And if you don't watch it, you'll be the next one.
- During World War II, Americans tried to train Southie to drop bombs. And they succeeded only too well.
- If you lick Southie ten times, you will consume one calorie. There are just SO many places I can take this, I don't know where to start.
- Lightning strikes Southie over seven times every hour. So, at least eight times, in other words.
- Finding Southie on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck. And on any other morning...
- Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the amount of Southie in your ear 700 times! Yucky.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I have to stop reading until I pass out at night--it makes getting up the next morning nearly impossible. I think I hit the snooze button for about 2 hours and 13 minutes, but I still got to work on time. And yes, my alarm IS across the room.
Balance is a wonderful thing, when you have it.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Did anyone else notice that this episode had less to do with Jack than almost any of the others?
And that a very Hitchcockian theme plays whenever the first lady is the focus?
Yep. Good stuff.
Everything's Turning Up Southie: The Return of Betsy/Lucille/Brittaneigh; the Times of Craziness; "Melissa"
In other news, it's the start of semester 2 today at work--the Times of Craziness are upon us, at least for a week or so. The good thing about the Times of Craziness is that there are relatively few papers to grade. The bad thing about the Times of Craziness is that there is a LOT of planning and copying that goes on, and this can't be taken lightly (well, I suppose the copying can be taken lightly, if you know what you're doing). Another common characteristic of the Times of Craziness is that new students are introduced into your classroom. Luckily for me, I keep about 70% of the same kids. I like my kids--I don't want new ones. I can't wait until the Times of Craziness are over and the the Times of Productivity arrive. Then we'll be rollin'.
So I went on a date last Saturday with a very nice young lady who I'll call "Melissa" (to protect her identity), and it was fantastic. We went to a little Italian bar and restaurant in her neck of the woods, and it rocked not just because of the place itself, but because the people there were so real. I was impressed. Even more impressive than the bar, though, was my date; I can't wait to get to know her better. Did I mention she likes Scrubs? She does. As a matter of fact, I'm happy to say that "Melissa" and I will be going out again this Wednesday, seeing either Match Point or Bareback Mountain (seriously, did they not think the joke would be made; though I really can't take all the credit--Chrissy's dad said it first). As any avid reader of my blog will tell you, both are on my list. In short, I'm really looking forward to Wednesday...
For the record, my last name does begin with an S.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Why do I like it so much? Well, I'll tell you.
1) Style. Wes Anderson's style is simply stunning. The fact that this family is "trapped" in their 70s-era heyday is ingenious. Anderson's normal cinematic choices go along so well with the visual framing, the "vintage" garb the characters wear, and the nicotine-filled culture that was the 1970s. It's fun to watch.
2) Dialogue. It's rare that a movie's words mean so much. If you think about it, why do we go see a movie? Because we like to watch (usually beautiful) people traipse around doing morally ambiguous things in a spectacular way. Well, in TRT the characters DO do all of those things, but the dialogue is so well chosen that you could take away all of the visuals for the movie, and it would still be quite funny and poignant.
3) Comedy AND Drama. Otherwise known as the "dark comedy." The first time I saw this movie was at Notre Dame, and there was a girl in the audience who would laugh raucously at EVERY--even understated--piece of light-heartedness in the film. And that's not how this film is supposed to be viewed. To get Anderson's full message, you have to see that these characters are NOT hilarious, but they're not completely pathetic either. This film is the best blend of comedy and drama I have ever seen.
4) All-Star Cast. Amazing. This is Wes Anderson's third film, and he was able to put together a cast with some of the biggest names in Hollywood. They are: Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Danny Glover, Bill Murray, and Alec Baldwin. Enough said.
5) Quotes. This is an extremely quotable movie. And what's more, the quotes are actually significant (instead of "dude, where's my car?") Here are just a few (from IMDB):
--Raleigh: Do you have an alternate?
--Raleigh: Are there priests on call?
--Royal: Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hittin' the cemetery?
--Eli: Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.
--Richie: Did you say you were on Mescaline?
--Eli: I did indeed. Very much so.
--Royal: I'm very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman.
--Medical Student: Can the boy tell time?
--Raleigh: Oh, my Lord, no!
--Narrator: Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.
And there you have it. Five reasons why The Royal Tenenbaums rocks the house.
Friday, January 20, 2006
4 jobs i've had (time at job)
English teacher (1.5 years); Preschool teacher (2 summers-6 months total); Waiter (8 months); Cashier (3 months)
4 movies i'd watch over and over
The Royal Tenenbaums; Lost in Translation; Rear Window; Casablanca; and many, many others
4 places i have lived (time at locale)
Naperville, IL (1.5 years); South Bend, IN (4 years); Fremantle, WA, Australia (5 months); Dayton, OH (18 years)
4 tv shows i love
Seinfeld; Scrubs; Arrested Development; Curb Your Enthusiasm; (#5: 24)
4 places i've been on vacation
Italy; China; Thailand; Taiwan
4 favorite foods
Pasta; Thai (anything with curry); Pizza; Chinese
4 places i'd rather be right now
Disclaimer: I really like it here; these are only places I would like to be temporarily.
Rome; South Bend; Dublin; Moscow
4 websites i visit daily
BBC News; ABC News; IMDB; ESPN MLB
4 bloggers who are now tagged!
Tara; Bone; Danielle; Lisa
I can't WAIT until baseball starts. It's not fair for us non-basketball fans that there's such a big gap between football and baseball. Boo. And Theo Epstein has rejoined the Red Sox.
Upcoming Films that Look Interesting:
Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World
Thank You for Smoking
Paris, je t'aime
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
In other news, I've decided to pitch my own reality TV show idea to FOX. Here it is (but don't tell anybody; PLEASE do not steal this idea from me--I'm putting this on my blog in good faith):
1. Locate an office building in an urban setting somewhere in America.
2. Locate an elevator in said office building.
3. Put cameraman in said elevator.
4. Videotape the businessmen and women who get on and off the elevator for an hour.
5. Hilarity ensues.
The possibilities for this show are virtually endless: you could pick a new city each week, or (if financial constraints are present) you could just rotate office buildings in the same city, you could place the camera man in different corners of the elevator, you could have the cameraman wearing a shirt and tie that just barely don't match and watch people's reactions, you could have a guest cameraman one week, you could have a camerawoman (!), etc. You see, this show could go on forEVER and never get old.
What's all the fuss going to be about, you might be asking yourself. Well, I'll tell you. I, along with many others in this country, have noticed that people have this obsession with what's been termed "reality television." Well, what's more real than waiting in an elevator?! Nothing! It's gonna catch on like wildfire.
And it's surely better than the drivel that serves as "reality television" currently. I mean, come on! [begins to lapse out of sarcasm...] What the crap, people?! If you want reality, turn OFF the TV...if you want fantasy, turn ON the TV...not that difficult. People will watch ANYTHING these days--call it reality television, and the show will instantly have a cult following. You could put monkeys throwing their own shit at each other. Oh, wait, that's already on TV. It's called American Idol. [lapses back into sarcasm...]
Monday, January 16, 2006
I was recently surfing the blogosphere, going through my daily rounds, when I came to Wordaholism. Now, I generally enjoy this blog very much; it's run by a number of other bloggers, a few of whom have individual blogs that I also follow, and the focus is on relating little snippets of life to words and their definitions. Perfect for an English teacher, right? Right. But tonight, after I had posted a small comment on the latest post, I had a very surreal moment. As I'm reflecting on it now, it's like my favorite quote from The Royal Tenenbaums when the narrator says, "Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true."
Here's what it was. Esbee wrote the post, and part of it was the fact that when she was growing up she was always surprised when her mom (who was a teacher) would bump into kids outside of school, and the kids would be shocked to see that she existed outside of the school building. This in and of itself is rather common; my mom is a teacher, and I remember this happening to her a could of times. Now that I'm a teacher, it's even happened several times to me in the two years I've been teaching. But here's what I wrote in the comment:
Who are you?
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Holy shit!!! First of all, TOTALLY pissed that they killed off Michelle Dessler in the first 5 minutes of the season. Easily the hottest girl left on the show. Who's left--Chloe?!? Seriously. Not Audrey. She has a plastic nose. I don't know. Crazy. And what the FUCK with killing off David Palmer? I mean, come on! That was the ONE guy we were sure had moral integrity. Who else? No one, that's who. Glad that Edgar's back, if only for comic relief. Seriously, he's just hilarious. He's such a bitch. Don't like this new guy Spencer. Seems manipulative. He'll probably end up as a double agent, mark my words.
Other notable notes is that apparently I must be drinking some sort of whiskey while watching 24. It's just how it is. With ice.
The first commercial I was like, "NO!!!!!" I didn't know what to do. I instinctively reached for the remote to fast forward through the commercials, but to my horror I couldn't! It was one of worst moments of my life. Another one of the worst moments of my life came at the end of the second episode, when I found that there would be no more new episodes of 24 tonight, and that I couldn't make there be any more new ones. It was awful, just awful. I mean awful.
I hope that if Kim Bauer does come back that she's taken some acting lessons. And has less clothes. Damn, girl.
In other news, the Bears are losing 10-0 at this point. I definitely want them to win.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Type A: Star-riddled, expensive blockbusters of questionable quality ("Opiate of the Masses Type")
Examples: Jaws, the Indiana Jones series, Jurassic Park, War of the Worlds
Type B: Historical, emotional, well-made epics ("Really Good, Underappreciated Type")
Examples: Empire of the Sun, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, Munich
As you can see, this man is obviously a financial genius. He shows the studios that he can make a big, successful, "summer blockbuster" that can pack the seats, but more importantly, he gains their trust so they let him make something that is rather hard to find in modern culture, or at least something that's hard to find in the truest sense: art. I firmly believe that film can be art, but not all films are art. Art has to reflect truth, and it has to be made in a very intentional way. There are a myriad of books on aesthetic philosophy, so I won't try to go into it here, but the point is that we have to savor true art when we can find it.
PS--Let me know whenever you've found it.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Someone downstairs in my apartment is making a lot of noise. I hate living in an apartment. It's not just the fact that there are a few college kids living above me who play blaring bad rap music and any random moment in a 24 hour period, but it's the fact that the walls at times seem so thin that I could just mute my TV and occasionally I can hear the audio coming from across the hall. I really want my own place. It's not that far off, but it seems like it. I just want a place that I own, you know? I suppose it's all a result of being an elitist only child.
I've got a pseudo-date tonight. I'm excited.
Have you noticed that the US wants Iran dead? This may be a loaded question, but I'll ask it anyway: Why isn't Iran allowed to have nuclear weapons, and we are? Is it because we're "right"? I hate the fact that the American public doesn't even ask this question.
All the best.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
1. What's the best time you've ever had with cereal?
2. Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are you most like, and why?
3. Create a statement about yourself that is as untrue as possible.
4. What is the most creative thing you've ever done for money.
And as a showing of good faith, I'll even provide you with an answer of my own (but of course I'm not de-lurking on my own blog. That would be silly.):
3. I am the most well-paid, well-respected homeowner in my town. My hair is long and flowing, and its luster is the envy of the neighborhood. And I don't take out the garbage in my pajamas.
Your turn! (you have to--it's the law of the blogosphere)
Monday, January 09, 2006
Sunday, January 08, 2006
I'm the type of person that gets really upset when something like this happens--things are supposed to work the way they were intended, and if they don't, I get angry. So I'm angry.
I'll be taking Betsy in to Best Buy later today (yes, I just named my computer "Betsy"). Thank goodness I have my school laptop that I can use in the meantime. Though it's just not the same.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Been messing with my header because I think it's boring. So bear with me as it goes from everything from Care Bears to Saw 2 (not really Saw 2, but maybe Care Bears...).
I actually DIDN'T go out to see a movie last night...I was completely planning to, but Dana and I went out for Thai, and then we wanted to watch Scrubs, and by the time we were satisfied with our Scrubs mini-marathon, it was pretty late (and neither one of particularly wanted to--or could--drive). So we watched Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress. It totally rocked, by the way, if you're into that sort of thing. We rationalized the decision to stay in by saying that we'd go to a matinee today and that it would be cheaper. We'll see if we go. I'm a film teacher for Chrissake, I should be seeing movies in the theater.
Top Ten Scrubs Patients, Seasons 1-5
10. Miss Tracy (even though she's annoying as hell)
9. Hector (Dr. Kelso's gardener)
8. Coma Guy (Tasty Coma Wife's husband)
7. Mr. Randolph (the WASP)
6. J. D. #1 ("Hey Number 2!")
5. Harvey Corman (Annoying hypochondriac)
4. Elaine (waiting for a heart transplant; big musical number at the end)
3. Johnny the Tackling Alzheimer's Patient (Classic.)
2. Mr. Bauber ("Pickles!")
1. Ben (Season 3, Episode 14 is THE best Scrubs episode. Period.)
The Captain finally put an update on his site, after about a week of hiatus. Does everyone know about The Captain? He's my personal mascot, and he has his own blog. He's so much cooler than I am. Unflappable.
So the NFL playoffs are starting, and I'm moderately interested. The Bears are in it, and I'm supposed to be for the Bears. And my step-dad and I have the NFL Postseason as one of our deciding events in the PCS. You probably shouldn't even go to that site; it's rather confusing. But fun. If you want an explanation, just ask.
Anyway, till next time, sports fans. All the best.
Friday, January 06, 2006
It seems that in all his Christian goodness, Pat Robertson has declared that it was divine justice that Ariel Sharon was stricken by a series of life-threatening strokes. Does this seem a little radical to anyone else? I mean, isn't that what we're pissed about Osama bin Laden for--inciting cultural misunderstandings and blaming innocent people? Sounds pretty similar to me.
Does this mean that we get to call it divine justice when Robertson eventually goes down (heaven forbid!)? Don't get me wrong--I don't want the asshole to die, I just wouldn't mind not hearing his hate corrupt my fellow Americans and make the rest of the world think we hate anyone non-Christian.
I know, I know...controversial post. So sue me--the guy's a jerk.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Monday, January 02, 2006
My emotional status during and after the game is roughly equivalent to this picture.
Things I'd rather do than see ND play OSU
1. Eat worms
2. Eat rocks
3. Drink water that tastes bad
4. See another Republican in the White House (actually, probably not)
Okay, so most of these are exaggerations. But 1-3 I would probably do. It's just going to be rough to watch, I know that. I REALLY hope it's a close, well-played game.
In other news, I go back to school tomorrow. I think this will probably be a good thing, actually. I need structure.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Further accounts of last night:
--The Captain's Version
PS--I love Microsoft Paint.