Evil, Taunting Clowns

So yesterday Dana coerced me into going on a jog. A JOG. A jog, people. For those of you who don't know me personally, this isn't something I would normally do. My typical exercise consists pacing back and forth--wherever I am--for most of the day, worrying about something or other. Oh, and lifting some sort of bottle--let's not for get that.










The above picture was taken just as Dana and I were starting out. It was mighty cold, but we were bundled up, as you can see. Then, gradually (after about 3 minutes), I began to realize just how long it had been since I'd been jogging before. My heart starting beating more quickly, sweat began pouring down my face, my throat started burning, and I began to see grotesque, evil clowns taunting me. Dana, however, remained unphased. He was prancing all about, just happy to be out of his apartment--he reminded me of a puppy that had been kept indoors for too long.

We ran for hours and hours. I saw the sun slowly sink beyond the horizon (we had started jogging at about 11:00am). I think at this point we were somewhere in Wisconsin--we kept seeing cows and cheese by the road. At around 6:30pm, I turned to Dana and said I was ready to turn back. He just laughed and kept prancing, shaking his head.

I don't know what time it was, but we eventually reached the ocean. Then we saw some people with weird hats, then some gondolas. At some point we passed another ocean, and somehow I woke up in my own bed this morning. I hate jogging.